Ranking my Dario Argento movie experiences

This year, I’ve rather unexpectedly jumped into the world of Dario Argento movies. It began when I was gifted a copy of his 1986 film Phenomena which served as inspiration to one of my favourite horror video-games Clock Tower. Since then, I’ve watched three more films by Argento and I plan to maybe visit a few more.

However, I didn’t want to just write three separate movie reviews, so instead, I’m going back to the ranking pool and diving in with a short ranking of the four Argento movies I’ve seen thus far and what I think about them all.

(And yes, I also have seen the remake of Suspiria – but this blog is about actual Argento films.)

#4. Inferno

Inferno is the second instalment in Argento’s loose Three Mothers Trilogy of supernatural horror movies and I have to be totally honest, the weakest of the films I’ve seen. I need to stress though, I don’t think the movie is bad… well, it is bad but I think also extremely goofy and therefore entertaining.

The movie is about a music student, Mark, whose sister vanishes while trying to discover the identity of the owner of her appartment building (whom she suspects is a witch). Several people end up becoming killed before Mark gets on the track of the supernatural forces.

Inferno has some nice cinematography and even a few decently spooky scenes. However, if Argento’s other films tend to play fast and loose with continuity and logic – Inferno is almost like fever dream where a bunch of characters are just inexplicably murdered without much rhyme or reason. It’s suggested that these happen due to the influence of the films’ antagonistic witch – but the lack of storytelling coherence can also be attributed to Argento actually being sick and bed-ridden for most of the production.

That said, the over-the-top energy, cartoonish villains and even the goofy theme song add a lot of entertainment value to the film. The beginning is a very slow burn though and the ending just defies explanation. Inferno is definitely fun but easily the least coherent of the Argento films I’ve seen.

#3. The Bird with the Crystal Plumage

This movie was Argento’s directorial debut and I think he actually showed a lot of promise already. Crystal Plumage is the most different of the films I’ve seen thus far since it features no supernatural elements and is actually more of a murder-mystery / suspence film.

A serial killer is targetting women in Rome and a writer named Sam seemingly witnesses one such murder in progress and is able to save the victim. However, the plot ends up being a lot more convoluted than this.

Whereas I think Inferno suffered quite a bit from its goofy energy, I think Crystal Plumage actually benefits from its cartoony characters and silly energy. Sam for one seems unrealistically calm considering he too becomes a target of the killer, and spends half the movie making out with his girlfriend when he’s not running after clues. The bizarre assortment of supporting characters however, keeps the movie alive and I think Argento’s visual eye works for the film as does Morricone’s haunting score.

There are definitely a few scenes in the film that seem implausible or overblown, and I think the chase at the bus depot drags out a bit. But there are enough fun twists and turns to make this a really fun film to watch.

#2. Suspiria

This is the first instalment of the Three Mothers Trilogy, and compared to Inferno, this film gets to the point a lot quicker and is much more stylistically coherent.

The film is set in a German dance school, where students suddenly start to drop like flies. The American student, Suzy, eventually discovers that the bizarre deaths are the work of a witch living in the school.

Suspiria is by far the most horror-mood film of the ones I’ve seen from Argento. The striking red colour scheme and the haunting soundtrack from the band Goblin (who scored several of Argento’s films) just adds plenty to the atmosphere.

Now, the silliest thing about Suspiria is that the main heroine is Sleeping Beauty for about 90% of the film, before she takes care of business. However, one of my favourite aspects of the film is the direct finale (most of Argento’s films seem to fizzle out a bit towards the end). Suspiria could easily top the ranking, but I do have an obvious favourite here…

#1. Phenomena

Now, he putting Phenomena at the top is not me saying its objectively Argento’s best movie. Far from it, the film has plenty of silliness, but the positives of this movie really do outweight the negatives.

Phenomena is set in a Swiss girls’ school. An American student, Jennifer, transfers there. She suffers from sleepwalking and is also able to communicate with insects with her mind. At the same time, a serial killer is targetting young girls near the school. Jennifer is ostricized due to her bizarre abilities and eventually ends up befriending a wheel-chair bound entomologist and his pet chimp.

Obviously, the film’s connection to Clock Tower is a big reason of why I like it but there are other elements. Both Jennifer Connely and Donald Pleasance just elevate the movie immensely with their screen presense. Argento’s visuals are still dynamite and I love all the scenes focusing on insects, giving the film its own unique energy. And Goblin’s original soundtrack compositions are also excellent. I also love the buck wild support cast, the over-the-top finale and the fact that a chimp just randomly is one of the main characters.

That is not to say the film isn’t without flaws. I think some of the support cast are a bit too over-the-top and cartoony, I think the killer’s motive is a bit convoluted to say the least and, yes, the random Iron Maiden and Motörhead songs in the sountrack do sort of ruin the mood. However, I enjoy the over-all package of this film more than any of the others. Inferno is goofier, Crystal Plumage is a bit more rounded and Suspiria is a bit more consistent, but Phenomena is just joyously bonkers.