Simon the Sorcerer II – Walkthrough
Notes on this walkthrough:
- This is a topical, puzzle-centric walkthrough as I like to organize it according to specific tasks you need to do within the game to progress. However, since so many puzzles overlap each other (especially at the beginning an near the end) this walkthrough will focus on giving answers. Often times there will be a short description of an item you need to get. In these instances you need to look at the appropriate topic for the item you’re trying to get. For instance a topic like How do I make an X? could have a text saying: “You need a Y to make an X.” Afterwards look for a topic along the lines of How to get Y?.
- There is no actual Chapter-division in the game. I’ve merely divided the walkthrough according to the four major locations in the game.
- Remember that in this game there’s a distinct difference between using items (hammer-icon), giving items (present-icon) and wearing items (hat-icon).
Part 1: Getting the Mucusade
Before heading off on your adventure you should go back into Calypso’s shop and pick-up the green dye (the small green square on the shelf near the door) and the baseball bat.
How do I get into the Castle?
To get into the castle you need money to bribe the guards and an official ID (become the Royal wizard) to get through the gate.
How do I get a crowbar?
If you head to the Street of Traders you’ll meet an Ironmonger. Help him out with his tax-report and he’ll give you a crowbar in return. All you have to do is help him with three conversion problems. If you need help remembering the different currencies go talk to the castle guards.
How do I get money?
This is a rather easy task. Firstly, head down to the Tattooist’s shop. He’s out to lunch, but you’ll notice a sign saying “Insane Society” and a ladder. Pull the ladder and climb up to the insane society. Talk to the guy with green hair and a frying pan on his head. You’ll find out that they’re looking for a porridge wearer. Time to go get some porridge. This is an easy task. If you’ve been to the docks you might have run into Goldilocks and learned about the Three Bears. You can head to their house but you wont get in because of all the security. However, you can open their mailbox and take the letter from inside it.
Now head down to the Loan Office. Talk to the secretary and select one of the different types of loans. You then go into the office and can ask for the loan form. You’ll see the guy behind the desk take a piece of paper from the tray and put it in a message tube for the catapult on the roof. Of course you’ll have to put the Three Bears’ letter on the tray. When you go outside the catapult will fire and now you can get into the house. Once you go pick up the rubber-gloves from the kitchen the bears return home and you have to escape.
If you come back the Father Bear will question you and then ask you to help in getting evidence about Goldilocks. Go to the docks and use the crowbar to open the crate so Goldilocks can escape. She’ll leave her wig and an inflatable raft behind. Go take this to the Father Bear and you’ll get some porridge in return. Return to the insane society wear the porridge and you’ll be given a bag. Open the bag to find a wedge, a bungee cord and some money.
How do I win the Wizarding Contest?
All you have to do to win the Wizarding Contest is to get rid of all the other contestants. You’ll need a stink bomb to get rid of most of them and swamp shake to pour into the horn of the wizard with a cold.
How do I make stinkbombs?
To make the stinkbombs you need to get some of the Swampling’s stew and give it to the Joke shop owner.
How do I get a swamp shake?
Go to MucSwampling’s and use the voucher you get from the guy outside to order a kiddie-meal. You’ll need some money to pay for it.
How do I get to the Swampling?
The Swampling is at the offices of the MucSwampling’s restaurant but you wont get in there without a little leg-work first. With your kiddie-meal you’ll also get a Swampling figurine. Take this to the Joke shop owner and he’ll make you a Swampling costume, but only after you get him some green cloth. Go talk to the Fat Bloke in the street of traders and he’ll give you some cloth. Unfortunately it’s not green. Take the green dye and throw it into the fountain at the edge of the city, then place the cloth on the basket of one of the washing ladies. Leave and come back, the cloth is now green. Take it to the Joke shop owner and he’ll make you the costume.
Once you get back to MucSwampling’s you can wear the costume and get to the office at the back.
How do I get to the swamp?
You can’t get to the swamp directly because of the wall. You can use the crowbar on the drain near the loan-office to open it. However, there’s a giant spider in the sewer and Simon wont go near it. You’re going to have to flush out the spider. You need some serious rain-dancing skills for that.
Head down to Town Square and talk to the Morris Dancers. One of them breaks a stick and they’ll stop dancing. Give them the baseball bat. Their leader (Malcolm) gets knocked out and the dancers now need a new instructor. Go to the Street of Traders and pick up the poster left by the dancers. Go take it to Um Bongo. Now head back to Town Square. Um Bongo has a problem though. One of his drums is broken and he needs a bladder to fix it. Head again to the Street of Traders and pick up the joke book from the Joke Shop (just wait while the owner has the gorilla head on so he wont see you take it). Take the joke book to the Jester near the Loan Office and he’ll give you your bladder. Now Um Bongo can do his rain-dance to wash away the spider.
You still can’t get to the swamp though. The tunnel is too dark and Simon wont go any further. Head back to the street of traders for the third time in this puzzle and go to the pet-shop in the basement. Use the rubber gloves to pick up the electric turtle and use the machine to extract electric eels and a regular turtle out of it. Take the turtle from its box and place the glow-worms in its place. Run the machine the other way around and now you have some seriously bright glow-worms. Now you can enter the dark end of the tunnel and reach the swamp.
How do I get mud for the Swampling’s stew?
Head to the swamp. Head left and use the bungee cord on the horizontal pole. Then use the bucket you got from the Swampling on the mud below.
How do I make the baby stop crying?
Your first task as the royal wizard is to get the baby to sleep. You need to give the baby some milk.
Where do I get milk for the baby?
One of the Swampling’s children has a milk bottle. Exchange it for a lollipop.
Where do I get a lollipop?
You get it from the princess once you wake her up.
How do I wake up the princess?
You need to place a pea in her tower of mattresses.
Where do I get a pea?
You need to exchange the prince’s pea shooter for a sword.
Where do I get a sword?
If you went to the swamp you might have met the lady of the lake. You’ll want to become a lady of the lake, but first you need The Royal Seal. Once you have it the lady will leave her diving suit and air-tank. Use the air-tank on the raft to inflate it. You can then get to the island and find the sword of kings. However, you need the royal crest tattoo in order to pick it up. Once you have it you can take the sword to the prince.
How do I get the Royal Seal?
You’ll find the Royal Seal in the throne room but you need something to bait it into going to your hat. Go to MucSwampling’s but instead of going inside head left until you see the garbage bins. Salvage a fishing rod from the trash. Now head to the swamp and use the fishing rod on the water near the sewer hole. Now you have a fish. Getting the seal will be a piece of cake.
How do I get a tattoo?
First you’ll have to get the Tattooist to leave MucSwampling’s. He wont do it until it’s 2 o’clock, but the clock isn’t working in the restaurant. Obviously you’ll have to fix that. Go to the castle and use the wedge on the baby’s cradle. Pig up the cog from the wall. Come back to the restaurant and slip on to the back. Use the cog on the clock mechanism and the Tattooist will leave.
You can now go visit his shop but the tattoos are simply too expensive. When you leave Simon will automatically pick up a leaflet. Go back to MucSwampling’s and give the leaflet to the Anorak Kid. Return to the shop, the Anorak Kid has now gotten a tattoo and you’re the tattooist’s 1000th customer. That means you get the tattoo for free. Get the crown and crossed swords tattoo and you’re set.
How do I get into the treasury?
You’ll need three balloons from MucSwampling’s and you’ll need to take care of the demons guarding the treasury. You can only carry one balloon at a time. Go and tie the balloon on the iron fence in the street of traders. Once you have three, Simon will fly to the tower.
How do I get rid of the demons?
This is actually a very easy puzzle. Just pour the rest of your swamp shake on the octagram before the demons appear and they’ll become stuck to each other.
Part 2: Pirate Ship
How do I escape?
Use the spell book.
How do I get the mucusade back?
The mucusade is being held in the hold. The hold has a chain and padlock. You definitely need a blow-torch. Go talk to Mr. T and you’ll get it. Now you need some matches. There’s a tinder box in the room at the back with the sleeping pirate, but his hammock is in the way. Pick up the dagger stuck to the pole in the room and cut the hammock. Now you need to protect your eyes. There’s a pirate with sunglasses on deck. Get him a proper eye-patch. There’s a skull in the brig with an eyepatch, so that solves that.
However, Captain Long Johns will interrupt you if you try to open the hold door. You’ll need to prevent him from coming out. Push the pirate fixing the plank over to get his hammer and nails. Also pick up the plank. Now nail the door shut and you can safely get into the hold.
How do I get the ship to turn around?
There’s two things you need to do. First go to the captain’s quarters and pick up one of the stuffed parrots and read the captain’s log to find the postcard. Next, use the rigging and climb up to the crow’s nest. Attach the photograph to the Nest Boy’s telescope (the tiny one near him, not one of the two big ones). Now once the ship returns to port he wont spot it.
Now you need to go up to the poop-deck. Swap the navigating parrot with the stuffed one. At first it will not stay perched. Use the swamp gum and the parrot will now stay up. Once you leave the poop-deck the ship will start to turn.
Part 3: The Island
How do I get the mucusade back (again)?
The beachcomber has taken your mucusade. If you talk to him, you’ll find out he likes shells. Fair enough. Pick up the business end of a shovel on the beach and one of the towels. On the next screen you run into the weird kid again. He’s willing to give you a shell if you give him the balloon. Next, you’ll notice one of the skulls has fallen off the poles. Pick it up and combine it with the spade to make a shovel.
Go back to the beach and use the shovel to dig a hole into the sand. Use the towel and shell and go talk to the beachcomber.
How do I get past the dog?
Pick it up. No, seriously, just pick the dog up. Haven’t you ever played Monkey Island 2: LeChuck’s Revenge?
How do I win in Limbo?
To win in the Limbo competition you’ll have to distract everyone with the noise from the torture machine. Use the dog whistle you found on the previous screen to signal the dog to start the machine.
How do I fix the generator for the Torture Machine?
The generators need something to make them run. Use the dog on the generator. Now, go to the next screen and flip the On-switch on the machine. After that, you can use the dog whistle to signal the dog to start running.
How do I get off the island?
In the cave opposite the coffee-shop you’ll find the Genie in a bottle. He’s not at his best however and you need to sober him up. Go to the coffee shop and get some decaf. The second time you get it, Simon will put it in his hat. Now go talk to the shady looking fellow in the cross roads. He’s selling caffeine pills. Pay him with the local currency you won at the Limbo competition. Combine the pills with the coffee and pour them into the bottle. Now you can wish to go home.
Part 4: The Valley (and Fortress) of Doom
How do I get into the Goblin camp?
The Goblin guards wont let you pass, so obviously you need to take care of them somehow. If you’ve traveled to the edge of the volcano, you’ve seen the giant monster plants. You’ll have to catch the cat and use it on the plant to make it slobber. Pick up the plant saliva in an empty soda bottle. Now pour it in the Goblins’ goblets and you should get past.
How do I catch the cat?
The first time you enter the witches’ cave the cat runs out. When you’re walking through the woods the cat runs again. It will go to the secluded hut next. Once you enter close the door behind you and walk to the cat. The cat will run into the door and knock itself out.
How do I get into the Fortress?
Like the Gargoyles said, you need a catalogue.
Where do I get a catalogue?
You need to play with nerds in order to win it.
How do I get to play with the role players?
You need to get rid of one of them so they’ll be one player short. Help the witches make the potion and give it to one of the players.
How do I win in the role-playing game?
You need the big goblin’s loaded dice.
How do I get the loaded dice?
Pour some soda on the campfire to blind the goblins momentarily. Take some of the big goblin’s stuff and the goblins will start fighting. Once they do, you can pick up the dice.
How do I help the near-sighted (blind) witch?
The weird kid has a magnifying glass but he wont give it to you. Go to the goblin camp and into the big tent. You’ll find food rations. Give the rations to the kid along with one of the role players’ soda pops and the food’ll expand, causing him to blow up like a balloon. Give the magnifying glass to the witch.
How do I help the deaf witch?
Take the guard goblin’s bugle. It’s hanging on the gate to the camp.
How do I help the witch with no teeth?
This one’s a bit more complicated. You need to carve her some wooden teeth. The elf in the goblin camp has some wood but he wants perfume. First go to the big tent and pick up some pepper. Throw it at the elf to make him sneeze and he’ll ask for a tissue. You can find one on the floor of the geeks’ shack. Give it to the Elf and now he has a cold. Fill the spritzer bottle he gave you with soda and you’ll get the piece of wood. Now take it to the Woodworms and they’ll carve some fake teeth for the witch.
How do I get past the monster?
The monster mustn’t be able to see, hear or smell you. For seeing, all you need to do is go to the room with the goblin and turn the lever to make it go dark in the fortress. For the hearing part you have to complete the infamous wear the dog puzzle. In other words, use the hat icon on the dog to turn it into a pair of slippers to muffle the sound of your footsteps. Finally, you have to make yourself smell like a goblin. Pick up the tapestry from the hall and dip in goblin sweat (under the goblin running the dynamo wheel). Squeeze the swear into the Chemical Spray which you got from near where the cat-eating plants were. You can only spritz yourself and wear the slippers in the room with the monster.
How do I open the security box?
You need to unscrew Sordid’s robot hand and use it on the hand-print identification plate. There’s a screwdriver on the table but it’s really small and easy to miss.
Congratulations! You have completed Simon the Sorcerer 2.