My Bottom-5 Resident Evil games

resident-evil-gaidenOkay, just as with my Top-10 Mega Man and Bottom-5 Mega Man games lists, I decided it was time to also show the flip side of my Top-5 Resident Evil games list.

This list was really hard to make because I do genuinely love vast majority of RE titles and a couple of entries on this list are here, not so much because they’re bad games in and of themselves, but rather because I just don’t like them as much as the games in the Top-5.

And no, I’ve not played Resident Evil Gaiden, I just picked that image for the eye-catcher. That’s first and only rule of this list: It has to be a game I’ve played to be on the list.

Now, let’s get on with it…

REmake5. Resident Evil Remake

Okay, I gave this game a hard time on the Top-5 and Bottom-5 game remakes list as well but just as with that list, REmake makes it on to this list rather begrudgingly. It’s not because the game in and of itself is bad. In fact, I got quite invested in it (to the point I made a whole guide for it).

Let’s cut to the chase. The reason I don’t like Resident Evil Remake as much as the rest of the Resident Evil games (on the Top-5) is because it left out one of my favourite things about the original Resident Evil (my all-time favourite): the absolutely hilarious voice-acting. Now, I’m not suggesting Capcom should have tried to remake the horrible acting, I’m saying they should have preserved it due to its incredible entertainment factor.

Also, I didn’t much care for Lisa Trevor, who seemed like a desperate effort by Capcom to slap something new onto the Remake in an effort not to seem like just the first game again with shinier graphics.

Having said all that, Resident Evil Remake isn’t a bad game. It’s quite enjoyable in fact and, on the Wii, I loved the different control options that actually optimised it for that system (whereas on the GameCube, the tiny D-pad made playing a little difficult). It’s easily the best of the games on this list which is why it’s only at number-5.

resident-evil-3-nemesis4. Resident Evil 3: Nemesis

I know people are going to hate me for this, but I honestly didn’t care much for RE3: Nemesis. My biggest problem with this game is that, after the original and RE2, it just feels like more of the same. It stars my least favourite RE protagonist (Jill Valentine, who for some reason thought it was a good idea to run out into a zombie apocalypse in a tube-top) but also one of the lamest and most linear of the original RE titles.

Every location in the game feels very expendable. The game purportedly tried to be more action-oriented than the prior titles but really all this manifests in (in my view) is that you run from one bland location to the next, talking to boring characters and then once in a blue moon the Nemesis scares the bejesus out of you.

And frankly, being trapped in a zombie infested city doesn’t feel like a credible setting. RE2 at least hid the fact by having the heroes hunker down in police stations, sewers and underground research facilities. The streets of Raccoon City just seem implausibly cut off, as if they were designed by a game designer and not by a, you know, city planner. Plus most of the puzzles are just tedious fetch quests and half the time it’s not even obvious where you’re supposed to go.

Now, RE3 isn’t a terrible game. It’s definitely way more enjoyable than any of the entries past this point on the list – but I just found the game so tedious and dull that I eventually just ended up giving up on finishing it (whereas I’ve powered through every other RE title I’ve played). So, not a terrible game, just nothing too memorable.

resident evil code veronica x3. Resident Evil: Code Veronica X

Some years ago, I wrote a rather scathing review of this game on this very blog, so it shouldn’t really surprise anyone to see this game all the way up here. On further reflection, part of the reason I was so utterly disgusted by (specifically by the latter half of) this game was because the opening half actually got me very invested. Despite the fact that I really don’t care for Claire Redfield as a character either (though she’s moderately better than Jill, I guess), there was something delightfully cheesy about her story parts and her tragic final encounter with Steve was honestly somewhat moving.

However, Code Veronica X suffers from some of the most erratic difficulty in any Resident Evil game. The big problem with it is that you have to save up all your best weaponry and gear for the latter half of the game (where you play as Chris) or you’ll fuck yourself permanently for the rest of the game. I had to restart this game four times from the very beginning before I finally had everything I needed and actually made it to the final boss.

In the end, it was just an annoying kick in the teeth to realise how much worse playing as Chris was, with everything killing you much more easily and with the game never really giving you a whole lot to defend yourself with in the later parts of the game. This just ended up making me resent the game a lot.

Now, there definitely are a lot of good parts (especially in the first half) and I’ll even admit that the atmosphere is fine and the voice-acting is also hilariously over-the-top. However, the game, in the end, just isn’t very enjoyable.

Resident evil the umbrella chronicles_uscover2. Resident Evil: Umbrella Chronicles

Nope, nope, nope. So much nope.

Whoever thought that Resident Evil should be turned into a light-gun game deserves to get shot in the head. The Umbrella Chronicles, the first of the two Chronicles games (yes, they made another one of these pieces of garbage), takes Resident Evil 0, 1 and 3 and turns them all into on-rails shooters.

I wouldn’t have a problem with this game so much if it was actually at all fun. But it’s not. The essential design flaw with this game is that there’s no difference what-so-ever where on the body you shoot enemies. So, no matter how many times you headshot a zombie, they’ll never go down with one hit. Therefore, the game isn’t so much about skill but rather about how frickin’ long you can keep mindlessly mashing the shoot-button before you get bored.

To be fair, there’s some mild strategy regarding which weapon to use, but I beat the final boss of the RE0 section with just my regular pistol, so it’s a very light strategic element to say the least. Some might say, it’s unfair to have this game up here since it’s not even a proper Resident Evil game. There’s some merit to that complaint which is the only reason it’s not number-1.

resident evil 61. Resident Evil 6

Ay, caramba!

Resident Evil 6 has got to be one of the most insultingly bad games ever made. Why? Because there’s clearly a good game buried somewhere deep beneath it in a swamp of horrible graphic design, sickening camera programming, asinine controls and cutscenes which you can’t even enjoy because the game might just feel like forcing you to make split-decisions in the form of Quick Time Events.

As I said in my review, this game infuriatingly blurs the line between gameplay and cutscenes way too often when the two could have been kept apart quite comfortably. I felt RE5 was a little too forward with its QTEs as well, but at least it somewhat telegraphed them. Resident Evil 6 does almost nothing right, with the enemies being, honestly, quite lacklustre and the multitude of gameplay issues just making the game borderline unplayable.

Is there anything good about RE6? Yes, Sherry and Jake’s storyline which is about the closest this game ever came to actually being anywhere in the neighbourhood of “enjoyable” (and almost entirely because of cutscenes). But it’s not nearly enough to excuse the utter half-assness of the rest of the game which is just unpleasant.

Resident Evil sunk really low with this one. Let’s hope RE7 can dig the franchise out of that hole.