As promised, I now bring you the ten best James Bond henchmen. In fact, this list is going to be much more interesting in certain ways compared to the Top-10 villains list, since it’s the Bond henchmen that are often given the most interesting gimmicks and characteristics.
This list will start a bit mundane but will definitely pick up for the top-5.
Again, warning: this list may countain spoilers!!
10. Bambi and Thumper
They may have played a very small part in the final Sean Connery Bond-film, Diamonds Are Forever, but they were memorable enough for me that I wanted to include them here. Diamonds, generally speaking, is a very tongue-in-cheek film from the franchise, so it only makes sense that the Bond henchmen in it were a bit silly themselves.
Bambi and Thumper are a pair of athletic and beautiful martial-artist bodyguards who confront Bond when he’s looking for the missing millionaire, Willard Whyte. Connery takes a real beating from these two, but of course, comes out on top. Maybe I’m a little sadistic for enjoying a pair of hot ladies beating the shit out of Sean Connery, but in all honesty, I thought these two even beat out the film’s other henchmen duo (the obviously gay Wint and Kidd).
Now, they are only in one scene in the entire film, so I don’t think it’s fair putting them any higher, but female Bond henchmen (especially memorable ones) are so rare, that I decided to give them a shout out.
9. Red Grant
From Russia with Love is definitely one of the best Bond films for its suspenseful atmosphere which really makes it feel more like a true spy film than most other Bonds. One of the reasons for this suspense is Red Grant, one of the most stealthy and clever Bond henchmen to appear on film. He’s even able to trick Bond by impersonating an MI6 agent.
Grant’s real identity isn’t revealed until he accidentally gives it away through a minor detail. What I like best about Grant is that he really is a prototype for characters like Francisco Scaramanga and Alec Trevelyan, who really are a match for Bond in skill and brains.
However, Grant is tricked rather easily in the end, by his own greed, which is slightly detracting from his character. However, I really like him so I decided he deserved to be on the list.
8. Renard
The World is Not Enough famously isn’t my favourite Bond film, but it did have one of the last really good Bond henchmen, since the ones seen in the series since then have been real borefests. Renard was shot in the head but survived. However, the bullet slowly causes him to lose his sense of feeling which means he can’t be hurt by punches, burning pieces of coal or anything else for that matter. This actually makes him more dangerous as he can’t be beat in one-on-one combat.
Renard starts off as seeming to be the main villain, but in all honesty, he sort of fades into the background because of Elektra King, the biggest turn-coat in the history of the franchise. His personality wasn’t anything special either, but I did think Brosnan’s and Renard’s battle in the submarine was very intense and was probably one of the biggest highlights of the movie personally.
The man clearly deserves credit for being one of the last “henchmen with a gimmick” that worked.
7. Necros
If I had to describe Necros in one sentence, it would have to be: “The most nonchalant hitman in history.” He appeared in the first Timothy Dalton film, the larger than life 80s-Bond The Living Daylights. Necros enters the scene, using a fake accent and a disguise with distinct tune blaring from his Walkman headphones and then kills his victim in the most bizarre way imaginable (strangling them with his headphone cord, throwing explosive milk-bottles or rigging an automatic door).
Necros is just a really fun character in my view. The way he just waltzes into a scene and kills someone on the drop of a hat was just somehow very cool to see. You also genuinely feel bad for his victims since they never see it coming.
In all honesty, Joe Don Baker as Bratt Whitaker was such a lame villain in this movie (I much preferred him as Jack Wade in GoldenEye and Tomorrow Never Dies) that I think of Necros more as the film’s villain instead. But he does take his orders from Whitaker, so the best I can do is give him a shout-out on this list.
6. Boris Grishenko
GoldenEye has such an excellent cast of characters that I had to include both henchmen from that film on this list. Boris Grishenko is a computer programmer who betrays his friend Natalya Simonova in order to go along with Alec “Janus” Trevelyan and help him take control of the GoldenEye satellite.
Boris is just a gem of a character. He’s a slime-ball and has some of the most hilarious lines in the entire movie “All the Americans are slugheads”, “Nobody screws with Boris Grisenko”, “They’re in front of you and can open very large doors” and, of course his immortal catchphrase: “I am invincible!”
Boris is just a delight due to the over-the-top performance by Alan Cumming, but he didn’t quite have the characteristics that would have pushed him into the top-5.
5. Baron Samedi
Live and Let Die, Roger Moore’s debut film, is only really interesting for all the obvious blaxploitation elements that were incorporated into it, but I enjoyed the film’s settings and certainly it had some fun characters – even if the plot was mostly rubbish. Whether or not you liked Baron Samedi, you have to agree that he is probably one of the most interesting Bond henchmen in the franchise.
Samedi isn’t even so much of a character as he is an entity. In fact, he may actually be a Haitian death god as Bond is incapable of doing anything to him. Samedi might be the only character in the James Bond franchise who has genuine magic powers and that alone makes him a bit of a freak.
Samedi is so iconic that he definitely deserves to be in the top-5, but he doesn’t actually get to do a lot in the film which is why I can’t put him any higher.
4. Xenia Onatopp
Before she was reading Hugh Jackman’s mind in X-Men and trying to kill everybody as the Phoenix, Famke Janssen was crushing men to death with her legs as the sadistic Xenia Onatopp. Xenia isn’t just a cruel killer, she actually gets aroused from fighting others and causing death and suffering.
Of course in true Bond fashion, Xenia also has a very suggestive (fake) last name, but what makes her so likeable is that she’s truly one of the few efficient female henchmen in the franchise. She fights Bond twice in the film and each time he manages to escape purely through a stroke of luck.
Xenia is easily one of the most memorable women from the Bond franchise as a whole and deserves to be on the top end of this list. *rim-shot*
3. Nick-Nack
Hervé Villechaize is one of my favourite little actors of all time and I’m happy he appeared in what is easily my favourite of the Roger Moore era Bond movies, The Man with the Golden Gun. Nick-Nack is a stealthy and resourceful little guy, who stays on top of things and provides grade-A service to Francisco Scaramanga.
Nick-Nack also has the task of hiring hitmen to try and kill Monsieur Scaramanga in order to make sure that his own skills as an assassin never get rusty. I just love Nick-Nack. He’s definitely one of those villains whom you’re elated and slightly disturbed to see. Nick-Nack unfortunately doesn’t get to accomplish much throughout the movie, but his sheer presence just makes me smile.
Also, he at least deserves credit for trying to avenge Scaramanga’s death at the end of the film, though his effort fell a little short. *rim-shot*
2. Oddjob
Another iconic personal assistant to a great Bond-villain, the silent but deadly Oddjob is the very definition of an iconic Bond henchman. He may not be able to speak, but his mannerism and body-language say all that needs to be said. He’s a power-house and someone who does his work efficiently.
And of course, he kills people with a steel-rimmed bowler hat. It has to be one of my favourite weapons used by anyone in any Bond movie. There have been so many occasions that I would have liked to have cut someone’s head off with my hat that you wouldn’t believe it. Also, this weapon has been imitated countless times, probably most successfully by Kung Lao from the Mortal Kombat series.
As said before, Oddjob is the very definition of an iconic Bond henchman. Like Blofeld, his image is so instantly recognisable that you couldn’t help thinking about James Bond without thinking about him. And of course, he just so happens to appear in my favourite Sean Connery era film, Goldfinger. However, there is actually one other who I think beats him in sheer likeability.
1. Jaws
Jaws is really unique in the realm of Bond henchmen. He’s the only one who has ever managed to make a reappearance. Jaws made his debut as the tall and menacing henchman for Karl Stromberg in The Spy Who Loved Me and was hired again by Hugo Drax in Moonraker. Seems Jaws has a thing for guys who want to destroy the world.
However, under that 2,17 metres of raw height and those sharp titanium chompers, he’s actually just a big softy as seen when he finds the love of his life during Moonraker. This also makes him one of the few Bond henchmen to have switched sides and actually lived through the experience.
Of course, his massive biting power deserves mention. Jaws can bite through practically anything: gondola cables, chains and steel bars. When he’s fighting Bond, he’s truly a menacing force – but it’s also endearing to see that he’s not actually all evil. Jaws is easily my favourite Bond henchman and no mistake.
