Hannu Mäkinen's Thoughts
December 24, 2010 Leave a comment
Okay, in my last Bottom-10 I noted the two famous video-game mad scientists, Dr. Robotnik and Dr. Wily. We all know that these characters were based upon real people. Robotnik on Teddy Roosevelt and Wily on Albert Einstein. But have we ever really come to think of do the characters actually resemble these original persons?
Well, here’s the comparison…
Pretty compelling, eh...
December 23, 2010 1 Comment
Just for the Holidays, I decided to bring you a review of a favorite childhood game of mine which might very well be the first game I ever beat.
This is yet another Disney-Capcom co-operation piece from the days of NES. Not as well known as Capcom’s Ducktales and CND Rescue Ranger games, heck, probably not as well known as either Darkwing Duck or even Tailspin, this game can be considered an interesting cross-genre experiment and a major marketing plug for Disney at the same time.
But is it a good game? Let’s see…
Score: 70% – Adventures is a really short game but with a few excellent parts and some rather ham-handed parts. However, beyond its short length there isn’t anything horribly wrong with the game. It requires a bit of trial and error but is otherwise a perfectly playable title.
Individual level review:
Haunted Mansion
My favorite level in the game by far and one of three levels (minus overworld) where you get to control the game’s nameless protagonist as he ventures into the Mansion, armed with ghoul-destroying candles, to defeat the Master Specter. This level has nice platforming challenge and great spooky atmosphere. Only the fact that your character jumps so far back after getting hit is a major hick-up, meaning that you really can’t mess-up in the final stretch of the level.
***
Pirates of the Caribbean
Made in the same style as the Haunted Mansion level, however, this time you begin with no way to defend yourself and your goal is to rescue five maidens who have been captured by the pirates. You do get a candle to attack, roughly halfway through the level, after which things become easier. I really like this level too although not as much as Haunted Mansion.
***
Great Thunder Mountain
You have to guide the locomotive safely to the end of the track and to the correct station. Your only controls are which way the train turns at a crossroad and also the break, which you need to apply in order to avoid boulders and hitting gates before they open. It seems much harder than it actually is but admittedly it would have helped if the game would tell you where the right station is roughly (rather than just saying the station number and leaving you to figure it out). Free tip: The 1st station is at the far left and you can deduce the rest from there.
***
Autopia
Kind of like a racing game except you’re not really racing anyone, just trying to get to the finish-line. Your controls include the gas, the break and the gear (up and down on the D-pad). Avoid falling into the water, flying off the track or getting stuck in that red mud and just make it to the finish line and you’ll have won the race (even if you don’t come in first).
***
Space Mountain:
Hands down the hardest level in the game. You have to react quickly to the directions and press either A or B to shoot down asteroids or space-ships. What throws you off is when the speed at which the arrows show up increases sporadically and the fact that in a few places you’re suddenly given the choise of going either left or right which throws you off easily.
***
Disney Trivia Quiz:
Not a level per se, but on the overworld screen you have to talk to the kids in order to find one of the keys. They all ask Disney related trivia. Some are ridiculously easy, others are really damn hard. But it’s a NES game so the questions cycle – but you can get stuck for a while on a series of really hard questions. Just don’t go to any levels until you got the key or you’ll have to start all over again.
***
December 21, 2010 1 Comment
I am the Eggman, that’s who I am.
Whether you call him Dr. Robotnik or Dr. Eggman, he is undoubtedly a video-game icon, right up there with other video-game mad scientists like Dr. Wily from Mega Man and Dr. Neo Cortex from the Crash Bandicoot games. To his credit, unlike most of his peers, Bottnik usually takes the fight to his enemy but as a result he’s been featured in a load of really dumb and bad boss fights, especially in the first two Sonic games.
I decided I would highlight his personal lows as a mad scientist and as a video-game villain. Here goes…
“Hey, Sonic! Hop on! C’moooon! It’s safe I promise!”
I was actually hard pressed to find a bad Bottnik fight from Sonic 3; as I mentioned in the Which was the best Sonic blog, it had the best boss fights of the first three games. Finally I decided I had to go with the Ice Cap Zone fight because this ridiculousness takes the cake. It’s basically a big “come and get me” scenario where you’re supposed to keep hopping on that little platform while avoiding the streams of cold icy air that hurt you. Admittedly it’s not so much dumb as it is just lame and tedious, but I wanted to have at least one fight from Sonic 3 here, so this one will have to suffice.
They see me rollin’, they hatin’…
Now, I should perhaps cut some slack since this was only the first boss fight in Sonic 2, but really, all that this fight comprises of is Robotnik driving back and forth on and off the screen while you hit him as he drives by. Eventually the cone at the front of the car shoots out but by then you’ll have won the fight anyway so it’s pointless. Really not a good strategy, to slowly keep driving back and forth in an effort to run Sonic down.
I was gonna make some joke about genital piercings but nothing comes to mind.
We all remember fighting Robotnik for the first time in Sonic 1. How the music suddenly changed, his air ship would come down and his giant ball of death would descend and then… sloooooowly swing back and forth in a futile effort to try and hit you. Now, to Bottnik’s credit, the shining ball of death is fairly threatening looking, but the fact that he’s totally open to attack at the beginning of the fight really ruins his chances of even getting one hit in. This is another first fight in a game though, so I’ll reserve some room for more annoying and dumb fights.
We all live in a… well, damn! I guess it isn’t yellow, is it.
This one is just pathetic. Robotnik popping up to give you chance to hit him was an effective way to up the stakes in the Hill Top Zone (where he ascended from fire), but this is a joke. Puzzlingly, oil is the one liquid that isn’t inherently lethal to Sonic – it’s really like the quick sand in the Mario games where if you keep hitting the jump button you’ll be fine. This fight is over before you know it, because you and Tails can just keep pounding on Bottnik’s sub while he’s up and it’s not until after that he starts any kind of attack.
When he comes up for the second time the fight is practically over. Just great, come up and don’t do anything, a brilliant strategy.
Another one from Sonic 2. This one is actually just plain annoying rather than inherently lame. The Robotnik clone fight is hands down my least favorite part of Sonic 2. Firstly, you can’t hit Bottnik from any conceivable angle without taking damage. Secondly, you have to get rid of all those damned clones that pop like balloons when you touch them. The fight is tedious and annoying since you have to keep sure you at least have a few rings to cover for when you take damage from hitting Bottnik.
The redeeming factor here is that Bottnik starts using a lethal laser once he runs out of clones but by then the fight is, yet again, over.
Look out below.
Now here’s a concept for a boss fight that could have actually been pretty nerve wrecking. Bottnik removing parts of the floor so that you’ll have nothing left to stand on. A great idea but one that again falls short due to Bottnik flying back and forth at a snail’s pace (can snails fly) and only coming down over Sonic, meaning that he’s easy to manipulate into only taking the blocks on the edges first.
And lastly, because he takes so long to get anywhere he’s open to attack so much that he’ll be lucky to even get the third block off.
“No, I’m not worried about my spiked balls landing perfectly at the ends of the those curved see-saws. Why do you ask?”
Even though Starlight Zone is my favorite set of Levels in the original Sonic the Hedgehog, they leave off with an absolutlely ridiculous boss fight. Robotnik flies back and forth, now high up enough that you can’t hit him by jumping but instead he’s dropping spiked bombs that you can bounce right back at him using the see-saw catapults.
Now even though there’s a real jeapordy of getting hit by the bomb shrapnel and at least Bottnik doesn’t just hover over one area constantly, it’s a classic scenario of a video-game boss who provides the ammunition for defeating himself. Bottnik, you earned that evil doctorate, you should have more common sense than this.
“Ha ha! You’re all wet!”
Okay, so we all know that Sonic’s weakness is water. He can’t swim and unlike Mario, he’ll actually drown if he’s under long enough. However, that doesn’t explain why Bottnik thought it might be a good idea to splash him with water as a form of attack. This fight makes me groan with its idiocy, it’s really that dumb. Plus, it’s probably the shortest fight in the whole game, owing to the fact that he’s totally open and will probably not even hit you with the falling water.
Back to the drawing board! Bad scientist!
Sonic: “I’m waaaaaaaiting…” Robotnik: “Shut up! It won’t go any faster…”
The final battle of Sonic 2 actually sounds pretty terrifying. Fighting two bosses in a row, with no shield, no checkpoint or even any rings. Meaning, if you get hurt even once you’ll have to start all over again. That would indeed suck but then you’ll learn that the last two fights are the most simplistic and ridiculously easiest fights in the game. Metal Sonic, you just have to learn the pattern and avoid him. Nothing else to do there.
Then Robotnik gets into a giant robot and walks slowly forward. Then he flies off. Then he lands. Then he shoots. The he flies off again. Wash, rinse and repeat. You can only hit him once when he lands and then run away so his robot arms wont reach you. Repeat about nine more times and the fight is over. I actually feel pathetic admitting that this is the part that I used to get stuck in Sonic 2, thinking the fight was just too darn difficult. Then I realised that it was perfectly simple, just long and f***ing tedious. Go Sega… =P
P.S. Couldn’t Robotnik just keep walking straight ahead to corner Sonic and squish him?
Come back, you f***ing pussy!
Well, I guess it was obvious that this one was going to be the winner. This isn’t even a real boss fight, this is just pathetic. The Labyrinth Zone from Sonic 1 is one of my least favorite sets of levels and it’s bad enough that at the end of Act 3 Bottnik just takes off – and then you have to chase him while the water-level keeps rising. And once you catch him, guess what happens. He just flies off, you don’t even get to finish him off.
So it’s really just an extension of the level and nothing more. Later Sega figured out that you could have Sonic chasing Robotnik and fight him at the same time but apparently it was still a thought in process when they made Sonic 1.
December 17, 2010 Leave a comment
With On Stranger Tides coming out next year I guessed it was time for me to give my favorite Pirate film saga the Quick Movie Review treatment. Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley will obviously not be returning for the fourth film, which is all fine sinse Will and Elisabeth’s story-arc was already completed in the last movie. I’m looking forward to more playful interaction between Jack, Barbossa, Blackbeard and the lovely, lovely Penelope Cruz in the next film. *drools* Eh? Oh yeah, and the zombies and mermaids too. *hmm… clamshell bras…*
*Ahem!* So on with the reviews…
+ Character interaction between Will and Jack (makes this one almost like a buddy movie – a good one that is).
+ Jack’s heroic dive (still gives me shivers)
+ Jack gets slapped around
+ Barbossa! That’s a classic pirate right there.
+ “That’s not fair!”
+ “Bloody pirates!”
+ “Why’s the rum gone!”
+ Jack and Barbossa’s duel
- So, Barbossa throws Elisabeth over the pile of treasure and she just slips off without anyone noticing? (Those villains aren’t very observant, are they.)
Score: 5 out of 5 – I was hard pressed to find anything bad to say about the first film. The plot has back story and the whole movie works well on the whole. There’s not a single scene or character I wouldn’t have liked. It’s an awesome swashbuckling adventure that everyone needs to see.
+ Davy Jones – Bill Nighy is just brilliant in the role
+ Bootsrap is creepy as all hell
+ The hat-gag
+ “I’ve got a jar of diii-iirt!”
+ The three-way sword fight!
+ The Ending - spoiler: Barbossa’s back!
+ / - Lots of laughs in this one, great comedy. However, I think some of the bits in the cannibal village were a little ridiculous
+ / - The Kraken was great, but a little underutilized.
- Perhaps a few too many action set-pieces.
- The whole movie seems a little wet. I know, it’s a pirate film but the characters just look drenched most of the time.
- Tia Dalma is really just weird side character in this one, rather than a fleshed out character.
Score: 3,5 out of 5 – I’m hesitant about criticizing Dead Man’s Chest even though in my view it was the least story-filled of the films. It really is all just a set up for the next film and as a result the film becomes more about comedy and action. Both areas are handled well but I always feel that the film lacks a strong narrative. If it weren’t for the final shot of the film the ending would have felt like a real let down.
+ Tia Dalma’s character is developed more
+ The insane Jack scenes!
+ The Pirate Lords
+ Homage to Spaghetti Westerns
+ Captain Teague
+ / - Intricate plot with a lot of characters, may make it a little hard for some to follow.
- Norrington’s end – he really would have deserved a better one.
- Cutlerr Beckett really wasn’t a great villain in all.
Score: 4 out of 5 – At World’s End might have struggled a bit in tying the loose ends together but on the over-all I was always happy with how this first set of three films concluded. At World’s End was by far the largest and most epic of the film but it was the little details and the intricacies of the plot that impressed me rather than the huge special-effects (which in my view tend to kill any character that the film might have). It’s definitely a worth while watch even if it has its weak spots.
December 15, 2010 Leave a comment
I’ve finally made the menu for the blog much better.
Hope it makes it clearer for reading topics.
